Be the change: Are We Teaching Young Feminists To Be Fleas? by Elisa Doucette

On 10.05.09, In be the change series, By Akhila

Being a child of the enigmatic XYCusp or MTV Generation, I grew up with a fondness for all things 80’s sitcom. Though I am a pale pasty white Irish girl from Maine, one of my favorites was A Different World. Seriously, to this day if Dwayne Wayne asked me to run off with him and his flip-up sunglasses I would in a heartbeat.

That, however, is not the point of this post, just an important footnote. Teen rap sensation Kris Kross (yep, the “Jump” kids) guest starred in an episode (Original Teacher) about inner city gang problems and the perpetuation of generations living in these circumstances. Kris and Chris played rivals locked up in a juvenile detention facility with one chance at probation. To work together on a project with…you guessed it…Dwayne Wayne.

Dwayne tells a story (also recapped by motivational guru Zig Ziglar as a podcast) of fleas kept in a jar with a lid on it. Fleas will jump up again and again smashing their head on the lid. Eventually they stop jumping as high because they discover that hitting your head on a jar lid hurts! The weird (and kinda scary) thing is that you can actually remove the lid from the jar and the fleas will have conditioned themselves to not look up or notice the freedom above them. They refuse to jump to the potential they once had, because really…who likes hitting their head on a lid?!

This story had a strong impact on my life (it aired in 1992…over 15 years ago) and I was reminded of it sitting in a few meetings recently for various “womens” groups. By far I am frequently the youngest in the room. By virtue of my 9-5 I end up grouped with women much older/more tenured than myself. In general I’m fine with that - I feel that I have lots to learn from older feminists and that I have a lot to offer them.

One thing that stuck out the most was a woman who superiorly made the statement “I just don’t know about young people today. I asked a group to identify women from the suffragette movement and they could only name one. Susan B Anthony. I’m pretty sure that’s only because she’s on a coin.” My mouth must have dropped through the floor and everyone was too polite to comment on the huge hole because of the look on my face like I had just been bitch slapped. I must be a horrible feminist…I know I couldn’t name anyone else. Would Hillary Swank count, cause I know she played one in Iron Jawed Angels?

People ask me frequently how I’ve managed success in a corporate arena being a woman. I don’t think these older women will want to hear the response. I’ve succeeded because I keep bashing my head against “the glass ceiling” even after it hurts. It’s one of the most pervasive sentiments I’ve noticed in most successful women in this new feminist generation. We don’t want to pay attention to “the glass ceiling” we’ve been taught we’ll have to fight against “our whole lives.”

Call it stubborn, call it entitlement, call it plain outward stupidity. We realize that we no longer need to wear men’s clothes to play in their arenas. We no longer need to burn our bras to shed the constraints placed upon us. We had a woman (almost) run for President of the United States for goodness sakes! In fact the thing that keeps me down the most is people looking down on my age.

I often repeat the quote “You have to know where you have been to know where you are going.” As a historical and scholarly learner I think you need to understand both the triumphs and challenges of the past to make sure you move forward without making the same mistakes. And I understand that it would be foolish to believe that women are on a totally equal field as their male counterparts. Beyond Corporate America one need only look at some of the more underdeveloped areas of countries to see that there is still a disturbing and real chasm between the genders.

I appreciate SO much about what women have done before me to allow me to be the spoiled little feminist brat they see me as today. But I want to stand on top of a building and shout at the top of my lungs “Stop holding me back because of what you had to go through. Is this truly the legacy that you want to leave to your children?”

Are we as feminists limiting ourselves by constantly referencing/acknowledging/fearing “the glass ceiling?” And what might the feminist movement as a whole be capable of if we started reaching for our potential, rather than fixating on our limitations. Would “the glass ceiling” still exist if we didn’t know it was there, and are we raising future generations to be a jarful of fleas?

As Dwayne Wayne told Kris Kross, desperate to see them jump to the potential he knew they had deep inside: “You can be anything you want, but you gotta know one thing: There’s no lid over you.”

The Changemaker

Elisa Doucette is a not-so-average girl next door who writes various musings and ramblings about the beautiful disaster that is her life over at Ophelia’s Webb. If she’s not out having really good conversation with friends over cups of coffee or pints at the local pub, she’s most likely curled up with a book listening to jazz or catching the latest Pats/Sox/Celtics/*Insert Kick Ass Sporting Team* game.

Connect with her over at her blog, Ophelia’s Webb, or on her Twitter, @OpheliasWebb!

Grace Boyle

I love this post, Elisa! What a great metaphor and I couldn't agree more with you.

I don't THINK about the glass ceiling. Is that for better or worse? I don't think it's for the worse and it hasn't affected me.

I am forever grateful and actually, sort of a history fan so I know a few more besides Susan (but not many more). I'm very much appreciative of the strains and pains that our foremothers went through, but don't we have our own in this day and age, this generation?

Roz

Elisa, Grace, and Akhila -
I'd have to say I am with you girls on this one: I don't really think about the glass ceiling either. It's funny, though, because growing up in a Chinese family (where gender roles are pretty adhered to, for the most part) I was exposed to this whole "glass ceiling" notion. It's difficult for me at times because I see my mom, who has readily accepted this "gender role" because that's how the culture is/was, who currently works but wants to "stop working like all [her other women] friends" -- and yet she doesn't impose this type of ideology on me.

Akhila, I agree with you in that growing up in the U.S. has made me too feel like I've had equal opportunity. What I don't want to happen, though, is me enter the workforce and be hit with sexism and have the head-banging-against-the-ceiling hurt 100x more than I would have imagined.

Until then, though, I'm not going to let it affect my ambitions and dreams.

Thanks Elisa for speaking out about this issue!

Elisa

Grace, I'm so glad that you don't think about it either. I'm especially glad to know that I'm not the only one not thinking about it!

I agree that I don't think it's for the worse at all. I see a lot of women taking time to talk about all the issues and live in the past of women's feminism, and they are the women who seem to "encounter" the most problems. I still am not sure if they are all issues of true discrimination and prejudice or if they are manifestations of a mind intent on finding them.

Akhila

Grace, I love your fresh approach when you say you don't think about the glass ceiling at all! Honestly, I don't either.

To tell the truth, I feel like I have never been preventing from rising being a woman. I always feel like I have had equal opportunity, and I know it is because I'm lucky enough to live in the U.S. I think that if this problem doesn't define you, there is still a need to ponder the implications and see how much farther we can push ourselves -- and investigate more deeply whether any of our actions, even without our knowledge, are defined by this glass ceiling.

Sarah Elizabeth

EEK, my grammar is ghastly. I meant "I would say all one has to do is look at media representations of women to know exactly what men think of us"

Sarah Elizabeth

Good post. As a feminist myself, I would say all one has to do is look at media representations of women to know exactly what they men of us. We have morphed from the angel on the pedestal to the sex crazed kitten. The sexual revolution did not make us equal, it merely gave chance to exploit our new found "liberation," and exploit us they did.

Possibly us embracing our own exploitation has led to us not being taken seriously. There is a huge hole in the feminist movement these days. It is as if we are blinded by modern sexism and somehow believe we have gotten past it.

If we want to break through the glass ceiling we have to start taking ourselves seriously.

Elisa

I have to say, I've never thought of things that way (well, maybe I have a little, but not to that depth.) I would tend to agree that there is a serious problem in the way we have objectified ourselves as women.

I believe the revolution had to happen for women to claim themselves as sexual beings independent of the necessity and desire of men. However it has gone beyond the point of claiming the power, we have instead brought ourselves back to a point where it is about the necessity and desire of men. And I'm not talking about women who are in control of themselves/their sexuality/etc. I'm talking about the mainstream media which sets unrealistic and unforgiving standards of what a woman is supposed to be!

monicarolevans

This is an amazing post. I get tired of older women and minorities constant complaints about how things used to be and matter of factly telling me that my dreams are too high reaching because, essentially, the "man" isn't going to let the young black girl get ahead.

I believe that I have too much to do in this life to WAIT for someone to tell me what I CAN do. What's the old saying...it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

If we, young people, stop hitting our heads on the lids, then the fight of social justice started by Susan B Anthony, MLK, the Roosevelts, and Harriet Tubman for Goodness sakes will all be for nothing.

Keep fighting the good fight.

*fist bump*

Elisa

Amen sistah!

That is EXACTLY it! I feel like because of the glass ceiling we as a younger/newer generation of feminists are being raised to wait and ask what we can and can't do, because we are being taught young that there are limitations to what we will be able to accomplish. Instead of being taught to go in ready to take down the CEO on our triumphant rise to the top!

Seriously, we teach little kids that they can be an astronaut or doctor or lawyer or copy machine repair person if that is what they want. At what point do we start adding the caveats?

Dollface

Also -- here's a great (current) article about workplace sexism and the gender gap.

http://www.portfolio.com/executives/features/2008/03/17/Sexism-in-the-Workplace/?TID=st092007ab

Elisa

Interesting article, however I would add that I am a young woman who supported Barack Obama through his entire campaign and run for office because I believed in his message and policies more than Clinton's. I think it would be silly to vote for ANYONE just because of their gender/race/etc.

Dollface

I'm not advocating that, either. I voted for Obama as well!

Dollface

You pose an interesting argument. I see your point -- isn't identifying the glass ceiling going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which women don't try to succeed to their full potential out of "fear" of said glass ceiling?

At the same time, however, it is important for society as a whole to keep in mind that there is a glass ceiling of sorts, even today (women still make 70-80 cents of a male's dollar). While I don't want the notion of a glass ceiling to discourage young women from realizing their workplace potential, it is important for the organizations to work on breaking down aspects of that gender gap.

I would advise against complacency, in other words. While I am optimistic about my future career, I will expect my future employer to provide an egalitarian working environment -- and I will continue to work towards a future in which there is no glass ceiling. I think it's too early to dismiss that notion.

P.S. I think it's really important feminists of our generation start learning more about the feminists before us! In the last few years I've read really great feminist literature. I suggest starting with a feminist in our generation -- Jessica Valenti.

Elisa

I would agree most emphatically that there is a severe gap still in place today for women. And that, in fact, there is very much a glass ceiling. However I don't know that talking about it, and making plans to abolish it, and working towards a future where it doesn't exist will do anything productive to eliminate it.

To rid ourselves permanently of the glass ceiling we need to look at why it is there. The glass ceiling exists because either men do not feel women are qualified to be treated as equals to them OR women do not feel they are qualified to be treated as equals (both are contributing issues.)

The issue is nothing about the glass ceiling, but moreso people's perception of the qualifications and equity that should or should/not be afforded to women. What ACTION thus would shatter this notion? Education of those ignorances and a drive by women to show that they are not in fact inferior but instead equitable and deserving of better treatment.

Talk is cheap, action brings results.

Justice for all

By Akhila Kolisetty