The last time I saw my grandmother she didn’t know who I was. She kept staring and me and my mom, and she was thinking so hard, it was as if I could see gears turning in her head. But, each time she tried, the gears would stop, her memory would fail her. There may have been a flash of recognition in her eyes at some point, but if so, it was so fleeting that it went unnoticed. Later that day, she refused to eat her pureed dinner and fell asleep at the table. The last image I have of my grandma is her tiny little body curled up sleeping in her nursing home bed.
My grandma had dementia, which like Alzheimer’s, steals your memory bit by bit, and eventually makes your body forget to do important things like eat. Watching her suffer, seeing her memory deteriorate more and more each time I saw her, was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. She used to be funny, vivacious, warm, and caring before the disease robbed her of these things. My family and I consoled ourselves with the fact that, after a while, she had no idea what was going on. But, it didn’t help much, because we knew. Aside from sadness, one of the most frustrating feelings I had was that of helplessness. I kept wishing there was something I could do to help her…and then I learned about the Memory Walk. I already knew about the Alzheimer’s Association because of a special group my grandma had attended in her community. Trained professionals ran activities for people suffering from dementia, and gave their caregivers a much needed break.
In 2007, I participated in the Memory Walk for the first time. My boyfriend and I were in Washington, D.C. for the semester, so we did the walk there. The route was around the National Mall. We started fundraising at the last minute, so we weren’t able to raise as much as we would have liked, but being able to contribute to an organization with a mission to end Alzheimer’s made me feel like I was finally doing something. My grandma passed away in July 2008, so last year, I walked in her memory in New York City. I worked hard to raise as much money as I could, and by walk day, I had raised more than $500. In a few weeks, I’ll be walking for the third time. After reaching out to co-workers, friends, and family, I had already surpassed last year’s total with more than a month to go.
One of the Memory Walk slogans is, “We’re on the MOVE to end Alzheimer’s.” It’s so easy to delete the e-mails you get from friends who are raising money for causes they believe in. It’s easy to think that because you can’t contribute much, you might as well not contribute at all, or that you won’t because you don’t have a personal connection to the cause. It may seem easy to convince yourself that you’re just one person and you can’t really make a difference. But, what if everyone thought that way? What if no one ever took initiative, always assuming someone else would take responsibility? What a scary world this would be. I am on the MOVE to end Alzheimer’s because, I may be one person, but I can make a difference. I refuse to sit by and do nothing. I believe that there will one day be a cure, and if I can save one family from going through what my family went through, even if I never know it, then everything I’ve done will be worth it. After all, we can’t just wait for change to happen; we have to be the change.
The Changemaker
Sam works in Marketing for online ad network, CPX Interactive. She blogs on a wide variety of topics from friendship, to grammar, to life lessons, at Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates. She loves writing, watching football, making new friends, and ice cream, among other things. Sam is big on appreciation, and she would really appreciate your support of the Memory Walk. You can donate here.
You can also catch her on Twitter @sameve!
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