Balancing idealism and realism

I’m a graduating senior. June 2010. Those words hang ominously in the air, haunting me, frightening me, and at the same time, exhilarating me. Thankfully, I’ve managed to secure some exciting opportunities for post-graduation despite the lackluster economy, and I’m grateful to the universe for that. Yet, I’m finding – for the first time – the need to balance idealism and realism.

It’s difficult. I’m young, so I want to head off to Africa and pursue my lofty idealism, putting it into action somehow. But the realities are that I want to gain practical experience in litigation – which is where I’d like to end up after some time. The realities are that I have to study for the LSAT, because I want to be a lawyer. The realities are that going abroad for a long time now might not be the most practical option.

But just because something is a “reality” doesn’t mean it’s not exciting and full of passion. It is!

The field of “development” is extremely broad. You can work on education, health, microfinance, or human rights. But I can’t do all that. After taking a class this quarter on aid and development, I realize that most development projects don’t actually succeed. It’s muted my idealism quite a bit. Even if I do go abroad, most likely my work there wouldn’t leave behind much of an impact. I’d learn and gain a cross-cultural understanding, sure, but is that enough?

That’s why I’m choosing something more specific – human rights law. Law is still viewed as a monstrous creation, particularly in western countries where we are constantly drowning in the threat of lawsuits. Indeed, this dark cloud has prevented so many from living their lives. But I want my career to show that law can be transformative, positive, and empowering. That lawyers aren’t all greedy, but that the law can be used to advance social justice and truly help communities solve their problems. That the law can empower women to seek redress for gender based violence – and that it allows them to speak out where they would have been silent before. I want to use the law to bring justice to communities affected by torture, rights violations, environmental abuses, and discrimination. In particular, I want to focus on legal systems of developing countries – which are often in dire need of reform and capacity-building.

The good thing about being a senior is that it really forces you to distill. I have had to look at my diverse range of interests and really draw out what I ultimately want to do. The days are running out – and I have to make a decision. Through this process, I’ve found the idea of a career in impact litigation of some sort followed by broader reform of legal systems to be highly compelling. And far more so than “development” work, in which you can never be sure of success. It seems more fulfilling to look a client in the eye and say “We’ve done it!” than almost anything else. And after years of working on abstract things like communications or research, I want that badly. I want to work with individuals, hear their stories, and work on their cases. Change – but incremental, concrete, tangible change.

But there are more realities. The reality is that this field of human rights law – particularly justice reform and access to justice issues – does not have any clear career path, per se. The reality is that I’ll have to make it up as I go along. And maybe I’ll fail or falter. But perhaps, also, this reality will be the most fulfilling one.

(A quick note: Starting now, I’m challenging myself to write something every day that isn’t related to my thesis or my internship. This could be a blog post here, a blog post for another online outlet, a poem, or a personal journal entry. Regardless of what it is, I want to get back into writing! That also means that you’ll be seeing more posts here!

Another note: I’m sorry if this post is extremely cryptic. I’ll let you know what I’m up to as soon as I make a decision!)

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  • Meenal

    Aw, I'm glad you see that being realistic doesn't mean you give up your passions. My own idealism is going pretty strong, but I have a feeling I'll be singing a different tune this time next year…

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  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    I really like how you talk about being a senior gives you the chance to “distill.” I remember feeling that way. Although it was only two years ago, mountains have been moved and life has been changed soo much.

    I think being a graduating senior is so fulfilling. I was in high-gear, I did all the things I had been waiting to do because I knew it had to be done this last semester in college, I kept learning and I finally realized that this isn't the peak of my education, just a piece of it and that the horizon really is vast.

    Good luck with the last semester. I'm so excited for you :)

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  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    I certainly hope you stick to your idealism. I'm still idealistic, but I also feel the need to balance those hopes and dreams with some concrete career path and some stability. So, the challenge is finding something in the middle. Something that will allow me to dream big but also allow me to accomplish my goals in the short-run.

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  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    This is so true. Things can change SO much in just two years, and I have no idea who I'll be or what I'll be passionate about after two years. All we can do now is to work towards our dreams and passions while choosing things that appeal to us today. I realized how hard it is to balance all my huge dreams because I had to turn down an AMAZING opportunity for another one… and it was definitely tough. But I just hope I made a good decision.

    I definitely want to get out there and do all the things I've missed out on! I took the time recently to explore Chicago and go to all the places I haven't been in the past few years. It was great! I definitely want to spend as much time as I can with my friends before I leave. I want to make the most of my university, since it's the last time I'll have there.

    Thank you! I'm excited too and I hope the next two years will help me hone down what I would like to do in the long run.

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  • Meenal Vamburkar

    Balance is definitely key–but always easier said than done. Good luck with everything! =)

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  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    You're so right – always easier said than done. Thanks for the good luck and I hope you achieve all your dreams in the fight for social change & journalism too ;)

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  • http://ontheloo.wordpress.com/ nayoung

    You make a really good point that being realistic doesn't mean giving up your idealistic vision. It means putting it into action!

    After having read this, it seems to me like we're both working for justice, but in very different ways. After taking Ethics, i learned two things (besides the actual philosophies of ethics): education is the beginning of justice, and law is the enactment of that justice. This is why for a while, i was interested in both and had trouble choosing between the two, but i ultimately chose education because i thought i'd personally find more fulfillment in teaching. In a way, i guess education is the idealistic path to justice and law is the realistic path. Maybe this just means i'm trapped in my idealistic self? :P

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  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    I think “justice” is such a broad concept – there are so many meanings. There is social justice, 'legal' justice, distributive justice…and so on. So I think there are obviously countless ways to work towards 'justice' whether you're directly assisting someone, working on broader policy reform, writing and exposing the truth, or teaching. I want to do law because I see so many ways in which law can empower people and improve their lives. I see so many flaws in the criminal justice and immigration systems of our country and indeed around the world, that need to be remedied. I want to play a role in directly assisting someone, thus being a part of advancing social justice. But I also think there are other ways to use teaching or education to improve lives – you just have to adopt the 'social justice' mindset if you're going to do so – that is, teach something practical or make sure that your students develop a passion for social change. I think that route is almost harder because I've personally given up on trying to make people care..most people simply never will. And personally, I don't want to deal with that and…it's a hard job to take on :) good luck!

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